If Keanu Reeves’s Date Can Embrace Looking Her Age, I Can Too
The actor Keanu Reeves stepped out on the red carpet at an event on Saturday, holding hands with his longtime friend, the visual artist Alexandra Grant. When photos appeared online on Monday, the pair sparked rumors of romance and, predictably, Twitter users were ecstatic.
上周六，演员基努·里维斯（Keanu Reeves）与多年的好友、视觉艺术家亚历山德拉·格兰特（Alexandra Grant）牵手走上红毯。周一照片出现在网上时，两人爆出绯闻，不出所料，Twitter用户欣喜若狂。
Many observers are thrilled that Mr. Reeves, 55, is the rare Hollywood leading man dating someone “his own age.” “Of course Keanu has an age-appropriate girlfriend,” the writer Britt Hayes said in a viral tweet echoing a typical response to the news. “He is a Good Man.”
This assessment is a bit of a stretch, as others have noted; at 46, Ms. Grant is almost a full decade younger than the actor. “Keanu Reeves has won an Olympic medal for dating someone ‘age appropriate,’” the former congressional candidate Saira Rao tweeted.
But when the alternative may have been a lifestyle similar to that of Leonardo DiCaprio — a man whose dating track record suggests a belief that women have a shelf life just shy of 25 years — dating age-appropriately in itself seems like a low bar to clear, yet sadly, worthy of praise. And while Mr. DiCaprio is an easy punch line, he’s certainly not alone. Jeff Goldblum, Alec Baldwin and countless others have paired up with women significantly younger.
如果另一个选项是莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥（Leonardo DiCaprio）的生活方式——这个男人的约会记录表明，他相信女人的保质期不到25岁——与恰当年龄者约会本身显得是个低标准，但可悲的是这仍然是值得赞扬的。人们很容易拿迪卡普里奥当笑料，但他肯定不是唯一的一个。杰夫·戈德布卢姆（Jeff Goldblum）、亚历克·鲍德温（Alec Baldwin）和其他无数人都找过比自己年轻得多的女性。
纽约时报文摘 | 基努·里维斯的绯闻女友告诉我们的事
The part that interests me the most — and I imagine others as well — isn’t that Ms. Grant, who is in my opinion quite striking, is 46. It’s that she looks 46. And not just Hollywood’s version of 46. Gabrielle Union, Eva Mendes, Penélope Cruz and Victoria Beckham are also in their mid-40s, but money, trainers and sure, good genes might have you think otherwise at a glance.
最让我感兴趣的部分——我想其他人也一样——不是在我看来相当令人惊艳的格兰特女士今年46岁。而是她看起来就像46岁的样子，而不是好莱坞版本的46岁。加布里埃尔·尤尼恩（Gabrielle Union）、伊娃·门德斯（Eva Mendes）、佩内洛普·克鲁兹（Penelope Cruz）和维多利亚·贝克汉姆（Victoria Beckham）也都已经45岁左右了，但是金钱、私教、当然还有良好的基因可能会让你乍看上去觉得并非如此。
Would we have had the same fawning reaction had Mr. Reeves stepped out with one of them? At the LACMA Art and Film Gala on Saturday, Ms. Grant was showcasing a luminescent smile and what appears to be her natural, silver-gray hair. Also to my delight: a few noticeable wrinkles — a rarity in Los Angeles.
如果里维斯和她们当中的哪个人约会，我们还会献上同样的奉承赞美吗？在上周六的LACMA艺术与电影盛典（LACMA Art and Film Gala）上，格兰特微笑的脸熠熠生辉，一头看来应该是本色的银灰色头发。同样让我高兴的是，她还有一些明显的皱纹——这在洛杉矶很少见。
No, she’s not his age. But if I’m being honest in a way that perhaps verges on impolite, she looks like she could be close to it. And that matters. A few years ago, you’d never catch me writing about a woman’s ability to “pass” for her age, but now as I’ve entered my 30s and have a few lines of my own that even fillers can’t reach, I’d love to stop thinking of the discussion around women and getting older as a transgression.
After all, don’t all adults walk around this earth looking plus or minus a few years of our actual age?
A part of me feels decidedly anti-feminist writing about another woman’s appearance, but we don’t move the conversation forward by pretending the natural outward signifiers of age should never be noticed, discussed or even celebrated. I desperately want to see wrinkles and gray hair as an objectively good thing （look at these lovely markings of your full life on this planet!）, or at least as a neutral thing, but the truth is I don’t yet. I’m getting married next year, and much as many brides search around for a hair stylist or makeup artist they like, I’ve been comparison-shopping for plastic surgeons who can do my Botox just right.
I’m not afraid of getting older. I’m afraid of looking older. And to deny that, as embarrassing as it is, would be counterproductive to the many other women my age who feel the same way.
I know the root of my attitude is part vanity and part internalized misogyny, but it also comes from the way the world tends to view and treat middle-aged women — as past their prime, as desperate cougars trying too hard, or worse, as invisible.
But attitudes are changing, and I hope I can change along with them. Last year, I watched Jamie Lee Curtis thrill me to my core in “Halloween” and then take to Twitter to celebrate that the movie had the biggest box office opening with a leading actress over the age of 55. I’ve witnessed a Kathryn Hahn career renaissance deserving of just about every award. I watched Jennifer Lopez, 50, defy gravity and make the fur coat A Thing again while playing a stripper in “Hustlers.” And just this Sunday, I saw Jean Smart, 68, electrify every scene she was in as the Silk Spectre in HBO’s “Watchmen,” where she wields an absurdly large blue dildo and has sex with a much younger man.
但是人们的态度正在改变，我希望我也能随之改变。去年，我看了杰米·李·柯蒂斯（Jamie Lee Curtis）主演的《万圣节》（Halloween），让我兴奋到了极点，然后我在Twitter上赞美这部电影以一位55岁以上的女演员为主角，并创下了票房纪录。我见证了凯瑟琳·哈恩（Kathryn Hahn）的事业复兴，她简直配得上所有奖项。我看到50岁的詹妮弗·洛佩兹（Jennifer Lopez）在《舞女大盗》（Hustlers）中扮演脱衣舞娘，她无视地心引力，而且让皮草大衣再次成为时尚。就在这个周日，我看到68岁的简·斯马特（Jean Smart）在HBO的《守望者》（Watchmen）中饰演丝灵，每一场戏都光彩照人，拿着一个大得出奇的蓝色假阳具，和一个比她小很多的男人做爱。
Middle-aged and older women, long portrayed as sexless and relegated to wise, maternal roles, are slowly but surely beginning to gain some pop culture representation that reflects the dynamic, complex and sexy figures that they are.
And that’s why this possible romance between Mr. Reeves and Ms. Grant feels meaningful. It matters to see a woman who possesses physical attributes that dermatologists, hair colorists and targeted ads on Instagram have long told me to change, cover up or prevent before they get worse. It would be nice to live without that burden, but for now it’s almost as nice to watch others do so.
For a time-tested public figure like Mr. Reeves to proudly stand there, beaming, with a woman who appears not to be in a battle against time sends a message to the rest of us that perhaps we can put down the snail mucin salves and jade rollers ourselves. It says you can be both desirable and look exactly your age. That’s the representation I’d like to see before I look in the mirror.